How exquisite your love, O God! How eager we are to run under your wings! (Ps 36:7 msg)

Friday, January 27, 2012

What is your passion?

Today I conquered my Goliath hill again.  With a cold.  While it was 38 degrees.  With a sore gluteus maximus from a previous work out.  And at the end of a 6 mile run.  Am I bragging yet??  I feel such a sense of accomplishment after I complete a work out.  This proud of myself-I can do anything feeling is wonderful.  I'm not saying I didn't have battles before the workout.  Who wants to run when its 38 degrees?  With a cold?

Before each hard workout or race, I always get nerves that make my stomach upset.  I don't know why, it's very silly.  But, I make myself do it and I'm always glad I did.  During my run this morning, I encountered 2 very angry looking dogs, 4 beautiful deer, and one mischievous coyote.  The coyote looked like he was wanting some calf steak for breakfast, so I scared him off.. because I want to be a cow's hero.  Ha!

Anyways, all of God's creatures coming across me this morning reminded me of how small my world is.  I get so consumed with the drama and everyday tasks that I forget that this is a HUGE world that God created.  There is life all around me that I am completely unaware of.  In fact, I probably miss a lot of nature if my music is too loud or my focus is too concentrated.  I become so obsessed with whatever task I am involved in at the moment or goal I am trying to meet, that I forget to slow down and see what is happening around me.

God is speaking to me a lot these days.  I hear him frequently in the morning, when I run, and through my children.  I have made it a priority to spend 15 minutes with Him each morning before anyone wakes up in my house.  It is quiet and peaceful and I love it.

This week, I heard Him during Wednesday night church.  Our associate pastor was speaking on how passions engulf us so much so that it is evident to those around us.  My passions, in this moment, are running and training, cooking, writing, hearing God speaking to me, and working on being a better mother and wife.  I would be offended if my children went to another adult with questions on how to cook something.  I would also be offended if they asked to go run with someone else instead of me.  But they don't.  They know to come to me with those topics just like their Papa has answers to all their hunting and fishing questions.

In that same sense, do my children know I am passionate about Christ?  Not talking and teaching about Him constantly is communicating that to them.  I NEVER want them to think they have to ask their Sunday school teacher the deeper spiritual questions.  My passion for Christ needs to be evident in how I act, what I say, and how I spend my time.  I ONLY have 18 years to mold them.  And for Cole, that just means 8 more years...

Nothing could make me happier than getting reports that my children continue diligently in the way of Truth.  3 John 1:4
I know it's hard to see, but there's a large deer staring me down as I stop to pull out my camera!
And now he is hiding with his 3 friends in the woods looking at me running by :)
I stole this off the web... the class that made my hiney ache so!  LOL

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

cheerfully, prayerfully, thankfully..

Whew am I sore.  Three weeks into running and two weeks into training and my body is objecting to my new exertion.  BUT, I know that it will adjust and I am already starting to see my energy increase.  So far, on this 18th day of 2012, I have run 23 miles.  But that's not the hard part... strength training is kicking my butt.  I have NO upper body strength, and the Tough Mudder will expect me to.  I have been attending two boot camp/yoga classes a week, with training at home as well.  Today was a hard class.  We will see how tomorrow feels.  :)

This verse spoke to me this morning: 
Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live. (1 Thess 5:16-18 MSG)

I feel God has been teaching me, molding me into the woman He wants me to be.  It started with my role as Brock's wife.  I have learned so much over the past three months just by studying His words and praying over Brock every day.  Now, he is molding me into a better mother.  My patience with my children has been my Goliath in recent weeks.

My children are my gift from God.  I truly believe that.  Becoming pregnant with my now almost 10 year old saved my life.  He is God's greatest blessing to me and I love him so much.  He is creative, funny, and compassionate.  My middle darling has a genuine teaching and nurturing spirit.  My surprise third is a spunky and intense, but extremely loving girl.

As they grow older, my days seems shorter.  And now that I am taking time away from my family to train physically, I desperately rely on my hubby to pick up where I leave off.  I hit the ground running before 6 every day with fixing breakfast, packing lunches, fixing hair, ect..  It continues with checking homework, karate, dance classes, church, play dates... Shall I go on?  I know every other mother relates with the increasingly decrease of time in each day.  It's hard to maintain control in my voice when I'm picking up the dirty socks off the floor for the fourth time in one day or cleaning up the toothpaste from all over the sink once again.  It's hard to adjust when my plan to go running doesn't work out because someone has suddenly developed a rising fever.

But I hear God telling me over and over.  "This is what I want you do right now with your life.  I want you to sacrifice yourself to raise your children.  I want you to wake before they do and prepare their day and their good attitudes.  I want you to cook healthy meals for them.  I want you to listen to them.  I want you to pray with them.  I want you to adjust your schedule and your time if they need you to.  And I want you to do all this with a cheerful heart, praying and thanking Me that this is your life."

This is what I am hearing.  And this is what I am trying to do.  I am raising three future adults.  They will all be future employees, bosses, spouses, parents, and friends.  I am not only teaching them how to do live and succeed, but character and discipline.  I am teaching them about the Lord and how to talk to Him and listen for Him and what He wants for their lives.  All this takes time and the continual sacrifice of myself for their benefit.

I came across this quote last week and it has echoed in my head as God's message to me: 
“[Motherhood as a mission field] is giving up yourself. Lay yourself down. Sacrifice yourself here, now. Cheerfully wipe the nose for the fiftieth time today. Make dinner again for the people who don’t like the green beans. Laugh when your plans are thwarted by a vomiting child. Lay yourself down for the people here with you, the people who annoy you, the people who get in your way, the people who take up so much of your time that you can’t read anymore. Rejoice in them. Sacrifice for them. Gain that which you cannot lose in them.“ Rachel Jankovic

I am right where God wants me to be and I will cherish my role.  And this evening, if I lose my patience when I hear another complaint about dinner, I will ask forgiveness and try again.  Because after all, God is still growing me as well.

Saturday, January 14, 2012


I am 14 days into 2012.  What an exciting and fulfilling time this is in my life.  New ambitions in front of me and the accomplishments of 2011 behind me.  I have so much to be grateful for, so much to praise Him for.  My children are healthy and loving, learning to practice kindness and generosity.  My husband is selfless and devoted.  My body is strong and my will is determined.  I am going to love this year.

Today, I ran 4 miles.  That is not something spectacular in and of itself.  I have run 4 miles many times.  But today, I ran 4 miles strong.  I love running...  but not too far and not too fast.  In the last two weeks, I have pushed myself out of my comfort zone and into strength training.  I am "in training".  (I've always wanted to say that.)  In training for the Tough Mudder at the end of March.  In training for a half marathon in April.  I haven't done either and I am loving the challenge already.  I was eager to run today despite my oppressing sore muscles of previous strength training workouts. 

Something happens on my runs that only another runner can understand.  I work things out.  I have conversations with family members in my head.  I am inspired to try new things.  I solve problems.  And most importantly, I hear God.  There is something so empowering, so awe-inspiring, to run solo alongside God's nature.  All is quiet and still.  At least, on my running path.  All is NEVER quiet and still in my head.

God has been growing me lately.  For what, I'm not quite sure.  I am getting to know Him more and craving our time together each day.  He is revealing Himself and his desires to me daily.  I am becoming the wife, mother, friend, ect... that He wants me to be.  I am excited for this chapter in my life.  I am excited to see what God has in store for me this year.

There is a hill on my run today I've always called Goliath.  It is right at the end of the 4 miles and it is extremely steep.  I have NEVER walked up this hill.  That is my motivation to never walk it in the future.  Not even 5 years ago when I could barely run 2 miles.  Most are familiar with the story of David defeating Goliath.  He was clearly the underdog and could only have done it through God's strength and power.  But, throughout his life, David had more Goliaths to overcome.  From family drama to woman troubles, He had to continuously hurdle obstacles.  But, he rejoiced in his struggles because he knew God would be there for him.  He would give him HIS power to overcome the Goliath in his path.

"How exquisite your love, O God!  How eager we are to run under Your wings!"  I love those words.  To be wrapped up in how God loves us so.  To be under His protection.  It is empowering, comforting, and heavenly peaceful.  Today, my Goliath was a big hill.  Yesterday, it was patience despite the constant sound of squabbling children.  Who knows what my Goliath will be tomorrow.  But, I'm not worried.  I will hit the ground running... under the protection of His wings.