Grace

Grace for myself.  Grace for others.  It is most humbling to write this final post.  I did not go through with the 1/2 marathon.  I was prepared physically, I really was.  I was not mentally.

Bad storms were rolling into Dallas over the weekend.  The weather looked horrible.  I had childcare lined up for the kiddos, but hubby decided he had reached his limit.  He has been so patient with me, always watching the kids when I was running FOR HOURS at a time.  He decided he would not be taking me to the race.  He was way behind on things he had to do and it did not seem appealing to weather the storms as he waiting FOR HOURS for me to finish the race. 

So, I cancelled the hotel and decided not to go.  I was pissed.  I blamed him.  He was unsupportive and unloving and selfish.  I made this all about me.

But the truth is, I could have gone.  He offered to stay home with the kids and my mom offered to take me to the race.  It could have worked out.  But, my stubborn pride in making him feel guilty won over.  Why, oh why, do I always fall into that selfish hole?

The truth is, Brock is amazingly supportive.  He loves me and the kids so much.  He works tirelessly for us and we rarely jump through hoops to tell him thank you.  But I get it now.  My first responsibility will always be him and the kids.  If they tell me they need me to bend for them, then I need to do so.  Yes, it would have been great to complete the race.  But it's also great that I have such amazing people that surround me and need me, really need me in their daily lives.  There will always be another race.  There will never be another day for me to show grace for the unexpected change in my plans.

So, I got over my disappointment and held me head high.  I hated telling everyone who was supporting me of my failure, but I had to own up to it.  Everyone fails.  However, through grace I am here now and can run another day.


Update:  I started training again and completed my first 1/2 marathon on January 13, 2013!  I ran the Houston Chevron half marathon in 2 hours 15 minutes and let me tell you that I was soooo excited about my time!!  Fate is funny sometimes.  I didn't get the nicer weather.  In fact, the weather was 10 times worse.  The race time was at the same time a front was rolling in.  It rained NONSTOP and was about 40 degrees.  My body was frozen!  In fact, I couldn't even change my music for the last half of the race because my hands were numb.  

I'm glad I did it.  I'm glad it's over.  I'm thankful for an amazingly supportive hubby who met me at the finish line.  

A Tough Mudder Miracle

It will be two weeks since I finished the Tough Mudder tomorrow.  I am excited to say that it was a wonderful experience.  So much so, that I've signed up for another one!  These last two weeks had me recovering from some weird bacterial infection, washing mud out of my hair over and over, and gearing up for my next race... which is in two days... the half marathon.  Eek.

But back to the Mudder.  There were 6 of us on the team and we started out a little frazzled.  Due to parking problems, we were in traffic for 2 hours, thus delaying our start time by 1 1/2 hours.  I'm pretty sure we were one of the last waves to start.  The course was a full 12 miles with 25 obstacles.  Even though I knew it would be muddy, I was surprised by HOW MUCH mud there was.  We were constantly in it.  And it was thick and slippery.  The hardest obstacles were climbing walls and ramps.  But everyone was incredibly helpful and the camaraderie was amazing.  Guys were constantly pulling me up and pushing me over.  I did each obstacle and only fell off one.  The monkey bars were just too much at mile 10.  :)

BUT the most amazing thing happened during this race.  An experience I've already told 20 times.  I experienced a miracle.  I very obvious and amazing miracle.  I have a history of migraines.  They have been hormonal in the past, but now I am getting them due to dehydration.  I have learned in the past two weeks that even though I drink water like crazy, I'm not staying hydrated.  I am needing more minerals and electrolytes.

Anyways, my migraines have always been predictable.  20 minutes of blurry vision, followed by a screaming, unbearable headache, then finishing with nausea and vomiting.  It goes away after I fall asleep.  Well, I didn't have many options to treat a migraine when I saw my vision going blurry on MILE 3 of the course.  My first response is, like always, fear and anxiety.  How would I finish the race with a migraine??

Well, God is amazing.  The day before, I was doing my Bible study and reading about God the healer.  He is introduced as God the healer in the Bible after he performs a miracle over bitter water. The Isrealites were nearing death from dehydration.  They found water, but it was extremely bitter.  God made the water sweet, healing their dehydration and bitterness at the same time.

This immediately came to mind when my migraine started.  My comforting migraine medicine was 5 miles away in the car.  Ibuprofen was 3 miles away in my mother's purse. I had no other choice but to pray and trust God to heal my head.  So that's what I did.  I prayed, sang, and talked to God for the remaining 7 miles.  I never got a headache after my vision cleared up,  just constant communication with my Savior during an intense physical challenge.  He used something so simple to allow me to see Him so clearly.  It was an amazing experience and I get goosebumps every time I tell the story.  I will always be grateful for what He did for me.

I'm excited to do this again.  I've already signed up for the one in Austin in October.  But, this time will be even more amazing.  Because, this time I will have my best friend and partner through life by my side.  My amazing hubby is doing it with me and I'm extremely excited!!!!

I tackle my half-marathon on Sunday.  I'm looking forward to my time talking to God again.  The weather is calling for thunderstorms and constant rain.  Yikes.  I'll let you know how it goes....

55:15

So I haven't written since my injury.  I was really upset by it and took the week off.  I came back around last week and ran a couple short distances, followed up by ice packs.  :)  I accomplished a cautious 7 day work out last week in anticipation of having to take it easy this week.  In addition to my short runs (4-6 miles), I did yoga, weight lifting, and a zumba class. 

I ran the Azalea 10K Saturday and had SO MUCH FUN.  The weather was GORGEOUS.  My energy was great and the Azaleas were in full bloom.  I conquered the ridiculous hill that is Robertson Ave and my speed picked up towards the end.  In fact, I sprinted through the finish line to beat the woman in front of me..Ha!   The official times were just posted and I beat my fastest time by 5 minutes!  I ran 6.2 miles in 55 minutes and 15 seconds.  So, as you can tell, my spirits are high.

The plan this week?  Not too much.  I ran 3 miles today and I'll probably do two classes.  The Tough Mudder is Saturday and I'm trying not to think about it.  I am as prepared as I can be.  I'm just ready for it to be behind me. 

On a different note, I started a Bible study call A Woman's Heart: God's Dwelling Place.  I've been looking forward to a deeper study of God's word... craving it almost.  In the first week we are being challenged to identify where we are.  God asked Adam where he was because his sin hid him.  God is wanting to meet up with me.. craving to spend time with me.  He is asking me "Where are you?  I want to meet you."

So where am I? 
Parenting in a whirlwind of 3 small children.
Trying to be a wife that is supportive, respectful, and adoring.
Running the house smoothly as Brock travels with work.
Juggling my part-time job, PTA obligations, and the kids activities.
Challenging myself physically.
Worried about my two brothers and the life that is before them.
Craving to hear God speak to me and see Him work.

This is where I am.  Right now.  On March 26. 2012.  What will God say to me during our time together these next weeks??

my poor legs

Well now I did it.  First.. the good news.  I ran 12.38 miles yesterday!!  12 were planned.  The .38 were from my missing a turn...lol.  They were a solid 12 miles too.  I started out extremely slow and maintained just under an 11 minute mile.  I didn't want to push myself like last time.  It worked out well.  The last couple of miles were hard, but I did it and even ran up Goliath at the end!

I know I was originally planning on waiting 1 1/2 weeks to run this distance.  BUT, Adelyn is sick and Brock left today to go out of town for the week.  It was yesterday or not this week at all. I prepared properly and my confidence was great!!  I tried not to take myself too seriously by stopping for water, to take pics, etc..

mile 3.5

mile 7.5

mile 11.5

my view.. I love running this 4 mile loop... even if its 3 times!!

Now, the bad news.  This morning, since Brock is leaving and I probably won't get to go to the gym this week with my sickie, I decided to take a 5:15am Barbell Blast class.  Strictly strength training, no cardio exertion.  Well, I showed up and the instructor didn't.  The only other option: Cardio Kickbox.  Now, a normal person would have a) just lifted weights b) gone home.  But, I saw people I knew and was talked into the class.  Bad mistake.  My poor legs did not need to be running laps, kicking, jumping stairs, or doing burpees.  I am now limping around on what seems to be a hurt calf muscle in one leg and a strained knee muscle in the other.  Just peachy.

I took an ice bath yesterday after my run.  I should have taken one today as well.  OK....I'm not going to whine.  I ran over 12 miles yesterday.  In 2 hours and 15 minutes.  Which is my half marathon goal, by the way.  I feel confident that I can run the extra .8 mile in the same time.  I will have competition and adrenaline on my side.  :)

On to a different note:  My personal Goliath lately?  My relationship with Cole.  He has been arguing with me over EVERYTHING.   Going over spelling words:

Me: "Cole, how do you spell happily?"
Cole: "h-a-p-p-i-l-l-y"
"No, it's h-a-p-p-i-l-y"
"That's what I said."
"No it's not"
"Yes it is."

Argh..  Everything is a battle.  I'm starting to not look forward to homework time, meal time, bed time.. you name it.  Today I prayed.  For my attitude.  For God to show me His point of view.  To understand Cole and what is going through his head.  I want to be patient.  I want to be sweet.  I don't want to be grumpy with him.  Lord, show me Cole through Your eyes.  Give me Your patience and kindness.  I am not capable of being the mom I want to be without You.


And just to show you the crazy Cole I know and love.  Here is a great picture I found on my phone the other day.  I didn't know he took one of me in my ice bath.  Don't worry, it's rated G.  LOL

looks like fun

make the mind run the body

"Now if you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing.  You have to make the mind run the body.  Never let the body tell the mind what to do.  The body will always get tired.  It is always tired in the morning, noon, and night.  But the body is never tired if the mind is not tired." Gen. George S. Patton

I love this quote.  It is on my half-marathon training schedule and is so true.  My mind is strong and that makes my body strong.

I have been struggling with confidence.  Brock had to work out of town all last week, so I just couldn't maintain my workout schedule.  I was overexerting myself and feeling run down.  I truly could not pull these ambitious goals off if he wasn't here with me.  He is such a relief on my schedule and with the kids.... my support and rock.

With only 4 workouts last week, including a 6 mile run besides the 10 mile long one, I entered my long run today.  It was a brand new area of town and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  It was just SO HARD.  I felt like the hills were HUGE and forever.  I was running against the wind for the first half.. and it was HOT today, so I don't think I was adequately hydrated.  That being said, I ran 10.75 of my intended 11 miles.  I had to stop due to my seeing stars.

The last 2 miles were horrible and I stopped several times.. which I NEVER do.  I turned off my music and said three phrases over and over.


I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength
The joy of the Lord is my strength.
Pain is weakness leaving the body!!

It got me a little further, just not the last quarter mile!!  I feel like I have been in a funk for over a week now, tired and discouraged.  I promise to be out of this soon.  How exhausting and whiny I must sound!!

I am giving it 1 1/2 weeks till my 12 mile run.  I will be bringing water and I will be eating more beforehand.  My body does not tell me I can't run 12 miles in in the future... my mind says I can!

Technology amazes me! Here is data from my run.. Despite my exhaustion, I still maintained a 10 minute mile average.. Yay, me!!

RUN 2/27/2012

training and healing

I ran 10 miles today.  I am a running machine!!  Actually, I feel like I'm 82 years old.  I'm walking funny.. enough so that Izzy asked me why.  The kids got a HUGE kick out of my ice bath.  I read about soaking my legs in ice water after a run the other day.  This speeds up the healing process and reduces any swelling my exertion may have caused.

I decide to try it.  It was so very cold, but after the first minute, I couldn't feel anything as my legs were numb.. as long as I didn't move.  Cole had the timer set on 10 minutes and he took the job seriously.  I feel like the ice bath did help... or maybe it was the ibuprofen and mixed drink??  I'm not sure.  Either way,  I'm going to have to jump in an ice bath for the Tough Mudder, so I might as well use this  as a two-for-one training and healing opportunity.  Good times.

We will see how I feel tomorrow, but I'm proud of myself tonight.  For the rest of the week:  strength training and some lower mileage runs.  I'm saying it over and over in my head:  Pain is weakness leaving the body.

walking funny

 I'm wondering if I'm ever going to stop being sore.  Do you reach a place in strength training that you stop hurting so much?  Maybe this is how if feels erecting muscles out of nothing.  I feel like I've been sore for 6 weeks straight.  Some days I can barely notice it, while others have me walking funny all day.  Today, it's my shoulders and obliques. Yesterday was my legs.

I know why I'm sore today.  It was the wonderful yoga class I took yesterday.  I decided to try a strength and balance focused yoga class and boy was it hard.  Some of my classmates make standing on your head look effortless and natural.  I was not the picture of a graceful gazelle.  I will return though.  I think the challenge is great.

After yoga, I did a zumba class...I know, I'm obsessed.  I love to dance, even if I'm not quite as coordinated as I think I am!  All this training and I'm finally starting so see some results.  My legs are definitely rock solid and I'm starting to see tiny muscles pop up.  Yay!!

I should be running 10 miles today, but I'm resting my legs.  They are tired and I'm starting to get a dull pain under my left knee cap.  I've had runner's knee before, so I guess I should expect it again.  Besides, the weather today is awfully dreary and rainy.  I'll probably run tomorrow or Monday.

So, no deep thoughts today.. just ramblings.  Every week puts me closer to my deadline.  6 weeks to Tough Mudder.  Two months to the Bid D Half Marathon.  Yikers.